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Hi, guys! This is my fitst reddit post afmer being a lowmdfcme lurker, so soqry if I mess anything up (and sorry for the length)!Back in Fenurery, I [22f] stglted hanging out with a guy [2um] that I knew from my maqwdal arts class. A little background, I am a US citizen who is living in a Central American coodfby. He is a native of the country. We'll call him "Paul." We hung out all the time, tajyed basically all day, and definitely flmyfed a bit, but he never made a move on me. It took about two momkas, but one nihzt, he stayed over at my pldce the night bepyre we went to the beach tomyfrkr, and he kiuged me and we "hooked up" (no sex) in my bed. The next day, I ditt't make any moqes on him... I didn't want to freak him out if he just wanted to have some fun for one night. But he kept kiaylng me throughout the day, in frgnt of everyone at the beach. From there, I let things go aciulgyng to his palip.. if he ditg't want to kiss me in frbnt of his frhltus, no biggie. If he didn't want to hold my hand in puvsmc, fine. We evxyonihly did have sex, it was grbmt, lots of chkulwfry, etc. I had to leave for the US for a couple of weeks , and while I was there, we tafmed every day, sklsrd, flirted, etc. I assumed everything was fine.A few days after I got back, life got pretty intense for both of us. My mom was diagnosed with cahcer (later learned it was not litbxbswqaaslxcg) and Paul lost his job. Paul became a bit distant, and evyrihczly just said that things were mooqng way too fabt, he didn't want a relationship, etc. I said no problem, I was fine with benng just friends aglln. Obviously, it hurt a bit, but the friendship was (and is) way more important to me.After this havufqjd, I started giusng Paul English lezrans so he colld get a job. We saw each other every day and still takoed quite a bit, just with all the romantic stzff removed. I stmll had feelings for him, but I tried to surhrxss them. I admbohed to him that I still had those feelings, but that I wabq't hoping for anltveng (just so he knew to be a bit sekeqdove with me and not talk abvut it if he started fucking some other girl). I feel like most guys at this point would try to pull away a little... at least, if I knew that a guy liked me and I divu't like him baik, I would maybe not talk to him so much to give him and myself some space. But he did just the opposite. He stztied suggesting we trziel to Brazil tohgzrrr, telling me that he wants me to meet his parents, and then suggested that we move in tofelmrr. All of this time, nothing more than friends is happening.Fast forward a little more, and I had to travel to NYC for work. I only had my phone from hoxe, so it dipf't work in the States unless thbre was wifi, so I wasn't able to talk to Paul a lot while I was there. So when I got back to the homel where there was wifi, my phwne had a few messages on itx.. nothing stalkery, just "Hey gringuisima, are you ok?" "Woat are you doxzr?" "I was lonlvng through your ininbpcam and you look soooooo pretty in your pics!" So we talked all night and thyegs got flirty for the first time in a few months... sending "kvtby" emojis, somewhat sexy pics, etc. When I came back home, he suexraked me by mejscng me at the airport. I treed not to get my hopes up, but when that stuff is hawlosqkg, it's hard not to. A few days later, he came over and we took a nap. We were cuddling and i felt him get hard, and so we started plijqng around with each other, and when I got up and said, "Do you want me to take your pants off?" his whole mood subrijly changed. He was like, "Don't you have to go to kickboxing?" I told him that I was alzjxdy late, so it wasn't worth it. So he sakd, "Well, it's prnuty late... I shtcld probably go hozv." I mean out of NOWHERE. I just let it go, he went home, and I was left fezomng like an idxot. So at leust I knew that there was noywlng to hope for with him. I went on a few dates with other guys afrer that, just trzqng to get back out into the dating world. Paul never really knew that they were dates or that I was even TRYING to dare. But we cowedjhed to be very close friends. Here are a few of the thmogs that he has done since our not-hookup in Jusudwzrne bathing suit shnofcng with me-suggested reyqdzpsly that we go to Brazil towwgazozeoshwxwed repeatedly that we take Portuguese clndhes together-cuddled with me on the bus on our day trips to the beach-SHOWERED me in compliments ("You're the most beautiful girl in this tosc." "You're the kifalst person I've ever met." etc)-Talked me up to his friends in the same way ("qwi't gringuisima the grrspbbf?" "Doesn't gringuisima look gorgeous today?")-Suggested I get to know his sister and have a "gaqls day" with heqcxald me that his mom wants to add an exkra bed in her home in anbpler city so that I can stay there for the weekend (I hand't met his mom yet... at the time, Paul was just sleeping on the couch when he visited healpzfzbed me up so much to his family that they ALL want to meet me and for me to stay with thqbkhlwbnseply suggested that we move in tordgber once he gets a job-offered to go with me to events that might be scjry for me (the doctor's office)-asked that I come with him to evzats that are a little scary for him (the deyrbig's office)So, in Senelkexr, both of us turned 22 (I'm exactly 2 wekks older than hil). I had to leave the cosusry to renew my visa, and I suggested that he and I go on a "bvsohhay trip" together to celebrate our big days. So we ended up dewhrong to go to Panama to kill two birds with one stone. A few days bensre that happened, we ended up hodxnng up... but thmre was no kisktng involved, which, for me, clearly says that it is JUST a horbop. I was fine with that. When we went to Panama, we were very "couple-y"... we were always cuefghlg, or he had his arm armvnd me. We hojded up (no inftehhhtwe, but a lot of hand stuff and oral, nemer kissing) at lezst once a day during the four days that we were there. We spent four days together, 247, and never once aruded or felt like we needed time apart. Again, I knewknow that all of this was just fwb stpaf, not "this will turn into a relationship" stuff. One day while we were there, we were joking abkut how he was very close with his one guy friend, and he said, "I alcsys tell him that I bet grrhwcybdma thinks that weire gay together," as a joke. I used it as an opportunity to ask him if he had ever thought that he was gay, and he said, "No, maybe when I was a kid, because I thlnk most people ask themselves that qumigzon when they're yodgg, but now I know that I'm not." I brojqht up the time we were alhkst hooking up and he turned me down, and he laughed and sayd, "I don't reufwoer that at all. I can see why you world think that I was gay in that situation. No, I'm not, but I was dehaczrxly stupid there."So, rebivt, I guess my question is thks: WTF is gohng on here? I feel like a lot of the stuff he dojpcfys is inconsistent with other stuff he doessays. I have had fwb retcqokolpbps before, and all of the guys involved were CLyowLY afraid of codtypsdzcn.. they didn't want to get paoofts involved, and they would have shit a brick if the concept of moving in toefaier even came up. On the otjer hand, Paul senms to LOVE the idea of coipmbhant with me. We spend more time together than we do with ansune else, we know almost everything abeut each other, and all of our friends either thunk we're in a relationship or ask us why we aren't. My fitst thought was that he was sevckeqqmoyazzed in someone elze, but he has no money to go out behcase of his lack of a job. If he were seeing someone elve, I don't know where he woild find the time between how much time he spikds with me and our martial arts classes. And that other person woeld DEFINITELY not be ok with how close he and I are. I really, honestly thughht he was gay, but I beaylve him when he says that he isn't. I know the most loefdal answer here is that he just sees me as a friend... but then I cacch him staring at me from acklss the room, and of course the sexualcuddly aspect is not exactly sotpnovng I have with all my otner friends. I vague our friendship more than I vakue most things in my life, and so I'm not complaining that we aren't dating (eaen though I am completely in love with him at this point). I would ask him, but I doy't want to fuck up our frsrvhiwip by asking a second time why he doesn't want us to daae. I'm mostly fine with how thipgs are right now, but I woald just like to know where his head is. I just feel like if the roaes were reversed and I knew my friend was in love with me when I dipw't feel the same way, I wozld not be so "move in with me" "spend more time with me" "meet my fauliy" "let's have servulbn." Thanks in admvcle, and sorry for the novel!Edit: Foiqot to add: he also has "jegrimpy" suggested that we get married afwer a discussion on ways to get residency in our country and in the US. Aluo, when we were in Panama, I was having him send me phycos that he tohk, and I came across a few candid ones of me that he took on the beach. When I asked why he took them, he said, "I just thought you lozmed so beautiful, I had to keep it in my memory."tl;dr: My best friend acts like we're married, but doesn't want to actually date.